Speaking in a video shared on Instagram, Tonto Dikeh said many Christian men take a passive approach to courtship and fail to show genuine interest through their actions.
She argued that simply claiming God revealed a woman as a future wife is not enough and should never replace sincerity, commitment, and practical effort.
According to the actress, using spiritual statements as a shortcut during courtship reflects emotional laziness rather than genuine love and responsibility.
The mother of one stressed that Christian women also appreciate thoughtful gestures and should not be expected to settle for minimal effort because of shared faith.
She said men should be intentional in the way they pursue a relationship instead of relying only on phrases such as, “God told me you are my wife.”
The actress added that while God may guide people in choosing a life partner, using spiritual language to avoid making meaningful efforts misrepresents God’s nature.
She encouraged Christian men to understand that a healthy relationship requires time, commitment, and deliberate investment rather than words alone.
“This is a very funny topic, but it is one that we actually need to discuss. So, if you are a brother in the Lord, come forward; this is for you. Why do church brothers think church sisters don’t require gifts? What about this low-effort thing you put into wooing or pursuing a woman?
“Church brothers would say, ‘God sent me to you,’ and blah, blah. God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God’s character. Saying, ‘God told me you are my wife,’ is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort; true pursuit requires investment,” she said.
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