Read Liverpool Fan’s Funny Ebay Description To Sell His Car

 “I would like to welcome you to the auction of my best mate, I refer to my car as my best mate as that is exactly what it is.” 

: “We’ve had a great seven months together but it is now time to get a new best mate (preferably a human this time) and part ways with this little beast. 

“The core reason for selling is that I work approximately 1.27 miles away from my house, bit lazy driving there isn’t it? 

“Also I’ve watched a few documentaries recently about vegetables and all other mad stuff so I’ve decided to adapt a new healthy lifestyle.”

“Overall the car is in great condition, there are the usual wear and tear marks, some scratches as does come with age, even though I’m 24 and I’ve only really got one or two scratches, most notably on my left ankle from a 50/50 tackle against some absolute beast when I was playing in the school cup against Rock Ferry, to note I adjusted my shinpad and played through the pain barrier.”

 “I would say, that on the passenger side door there is the back part of the handle missing, easily replaceable, apparently this was accidentally pulled off in 2005 when the then owner picked up a worse for wear Steven Gerrard celebrating the Champions League win.

“He was smashing through a Byrne’s Chippy in Walton and the generous owner offered him a lift home, only for him to end up on the floor, pulling the handle off in the process and Alex Curran proper fumin’. 

“Don’t quote me on this, but this is the sole reason I haven’t replaced it, sentimental value and that.”

 “The interior is spotless. I have recently had a brand new clutch fitted with more bite than Luis Suarez, new brake pads and the right-sided suspension under the wheel replaced.

“Overall it is a good runner, may need some work here and there, it does squeak sometimes when driving but if you put Juice FM on quite loud you don’t notice it.” 

: “This does unfortunately have no service history, just the latest MOT certificate I received and also only one key. 

“Ask me any question you want about Liverpool FC’s treble winning season of 00/01 but when it comes to cars I’m not that great, but I will be as honest as I can.”

 He finishes with: “You will bid on this car, you will win and you will buy it.